Their grip isn’t hard enough to hold a mug and you have to end up cleaning a pile of broken mugs on the countertop. Their hearing is going worse and you have to make sure you shout 4 times more to call them for dinner. Huge bubble burst isn’t it? Just when you thought you got your life together with your parents, spouse and kids and your parents get diagnosed with a physical illness. This is a time that you have a tsunami of emotions drowning you to the point of frustration, you feel guilty, angered, stressed and taken for granted. Remember that you’re not alone in a situation like this. Here’s some strategies to help you get back on your feet.
Being the perfect caregiver
Scratch that! There’s no such thing called a perfect caregiver. This is the first time you’re in a situation like this and this when you start spacing out thinking about how you can be the perfect caregiver. The strategy is ‘ don’t be a perfect caregiver’ we are all learners and you can slowly learn about what your parents illness is about and find out ways other than pushing down milligrams of medications into their throat. Trying to be perfect will only make you a guilty and make you feel worse every time you fail. You can only do your best.
Talk to a life coach
They will give an ear to everything you say and will find you with solutions to help you cope with the situations. They would suggest you with different options like respite care in Camberwell for elders to make your life easy and happy. It’s much different from talking to a counsellor or a friend. They will only guide you with options and not push you down with a timetable to try different kinds of things.
If you try and organize your life, you don’t have to miss out on a get together or a party just to stay at home to spend time with your parents. Spend time with family as well as with your frail parents. You can always rely on good aged care facilities to help you spend time away out of country while they provide the best kind of atmosphere for the frail and weak elderly.
Accept the fact that your parents are physically ill and that you cannot do anything to control the situation. Don’t be in denial thinking that you’re the one who can save them and get them back to normal. You will have an emotional roller coaster but it’s okay to have them and vent it out to a friend or a life coach. This will help you go with your daily life without thinking about how many time you’ve failed.
Show your parents love even in the little hours that you spend with them. It takes a lot of patience and dedication to help look after your old parents. But at the same time it’s important that you take care and love yourself. You cannot pour tea from an empty tea pot and just like that you cannot give love and care if you don’t have any inside you. At the end of the day it doesn’t matter how much you’ve failed. But all that matters is that you’ve tried your best to look after them.